HR-8791 Homeland Security Bill

Read along if you like-

"Congress shall now vote for approval HR-8791 the Homeland terrorism preparedness bill, as said bill requesting a emergency response funding, up to and including. Uh,... I'm sorry this section is classified. A dollars to prepare for a national level terrorist attack and or attack from, classified. Funding for first response personal and vehicles would be doubled if sent attack leaves to more that 80% of national population being affected by classified. This funding shall convince in conjunction with a first attack on um,...classified. Or the first large scale outbreak of classified dependent on which come first. Civilian and military units shall be trained in containment and combat of, classified. Including a radiated,......classified with possibility of, classified airborne, classified flesh eating, classified and or all of the above in such event as classified spewing, classified escape, are released or otherwise become uncontrollable. Air force units may also be directed to combat said,...classified due to their enormous size and other worldly strengths. Should events occur in urban areas,..........Jesus,............That's, classified far surpassing our darkest nightmares should castle these uh, exceed classified body disposal action, shall beholden and associated shall be reallocated through classified underground classified birthing centers a new bill of right shall be drafted and approved by classified. Having now reviewed the bill. I now ask you to please cast your vote."

This is actully spoof video put out by the Onion that had me at first. Then I scrolled down to see comments. Their good. The thing is, this is most likely not to far from the truth.